I will bet you a dozen hot chocolates from Starbucks (I have escaped coffee addiction) that you have a problem with the self-defense mechanism of rationalization and I do not!
Rationalization is when the ego (mind) substitutes an acceptable reason for an unacceptable one in order to explain a given action or attitude. This action deludes the superego (will or soul) into accepting something which might otherwise result in guilt. We all think that we are capable of acting in a reasonable, logical and realistic manner. If we get ourselves in a situation where we are pushed or have to push ourselves we are apt to substitute a ‘better’ if not truer reason for the action we have just taken or will take. Almost everyone we know has or does utilize this self-defense mechanism (except me). For example:
A new movie release coincides with a big exam so the student rationalizes that he needs to relax before the big exam rather than study so he goes to the movie.
The officer finding visitation out of his comfort zone will visit the critically ill person in the hospital if he gets his stats done.
If there were fewer Lotus Notes I would be a better preacher.
If the worship leader was more sensitive I could worship better.
If I won the lottery I would tithe.
If my family of origin had not been so dysfunctional I would be a better parent.
If I had not been abused I would be more intimate with my spouse.
If my cousin had not introduced me to pornography I wouldn’t have this problem.
I think I am a boring person so to keep you from getting close to me I seem angry, preoccupied or hurt.
The Holy Spirit will help us 1) by helping us seek for truth in our connections with others 2) help us be more honest with ourselves and 3) help us apply the fruit of the Spirit to this area of our lives.
1) Why am I not more honest and open with my connections with others? Why am I not more reasonable, logical and realistic? What causes my ego to look for responses to my situations that keeps me from guilt?
Isn’t it because I want to look good to those around me? Isn't it because I want to present myself in a favorable light to myself? Is it because I don’t want to be uncomfortable? Is it because I like to think I am superior or better or at least OK so my mind presents a positive image to others and also to myself. Sometimes I do things I wish I had not done – sometimes it is sin and sometimes it is human error, or poor judgment or need to grow in an area of my life. But my mind wants to prove I am the best, not so bad or at least OK.
The Holy Spirit helps me look at those deeper motivations when I encounter the experiences of life. He helps me uncover and deal with those motivations. The process of holiness is for the Spirit not only to cleanse me from the sin nature but over time deal with these motivations to free, correct or redirect them. Many of these motivations are sub-conscious. We may have learned them before we were a Christian so we have to submit them to the Spirit for His re-education, His redirection, His discipline. We don’t see the motivation we only see the results of our self-defense mechanism. These we submit to the Spirit for His transformation.
A personal example: Last Saturday at Men’s Fellowship S/M Paul continued his series about holiness for ordinary people. We talked about where our corps came from and where we are heading. In jest I said something about Lt. Craig’s sermons thinking that I was raising thought among the men present about the good quality of his sermons but the jest had a negative twist. I did go on to tell how much I enjoy his sermons and gave concrete examples of why they are so good. (Note my rationalization.) Then on Wednesday night at Bible study Lt. Anney was leading the study of James, she began with “Last week we solved the problem of the tongue.” I tapped my friend, Earl, next to me and said, “Sure glad you were here for that.” Everyone who knows Earl knows that he does not have a problem with his tongue (my point exactly). Earl’s words are only encouraging. However, my words of jest may have questioned that in the minds of others there.
In both instances my jest may have been jabs.
What were my intentions – consciously they were jests but was there an underlying issue that the Spirit wants me to deal with? Am I angry with Lt.? Am I upset over something he has done or not done? Am I jealous because he gets to preach and I don’t? Did I wish Earl’s reputation was mine? Did I need others to question him so I would look better? I don’t see the motivation but I see the results.
2) The Holy Spirit will help me to be more honest with myself by educating my mind (ego) to truth, justice and righteousness. The Spirit will bring to my will (superego) the various options available to me. He will help me be more sensitive to accept the right decision. The Spirit will help me see the situation the way the Spirit sees it. The Spirit will also provide the energy to function the way the Spirit wants me to. I am not on my own in this. I have the Spirit of truth to help me get at the real truth of my life. This can be painful until I get used to His help then when I see the results of His work in my life I embrace and even seek His work to free me and make me whole
The Spirit works to eliminate the underlying issues that may have caused me to jest with a negative twist and to be more honest upfront rather than after the fact, the Spirit will help me be more realistic in speech and if necessary conquer a habit of jesting at the expense of others.
3. The fruit of the Spirit that will help with my rationalization is goodness. The Spirit wants to permeate my personality with goodness.
Goodness is:
· Plenteous in mercy,
· Abundant in loving kindness,
· Usefulness,
· Shrewd kindness,
· In the best interest of,
· The mark of transparency and simplicity of the soul.
Goodness is a fruit of the Spirit for those who want to live in harmony with those who are going to live in the Kingdom.
God desires goodness, not a request for forgiveness but a need not to have to be forgiven.
The Biblical people we think of when we think of rationalization would include
Eve conversing with Satan
Adam hiding behind a fig leaf
Cain asking, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”
Moses impulsively striking the rock
King Saul before the witch of Endor
Peter responding to the maiden
Paul holding the wraps before Stephan
7 churches in Revelation
You
(but not me)
Happy Lent,
Harry
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