Holiness

Holiness and our self-defense mechanisms

Harry Brocksiek
I will bet you a dozen hot chocolates from Starbucks (I have escaped coffee addiction) that you have a problem with the self-defense mechanism of rationalization and I do not!

Rationalization is when the ego (mind) substitutes an acceptable reason for an unacceptable one in order to explain a given action or attitude. This action deludes the superego (will or soul) into accepting something which might otherwise result in guilt. We all think that we are capable of acting in a reasonable, logical and realistic manner. If we get ourselves in a situation where we are pushed or have to push ourselves we are apt to substitute a ‘better’ if not truer reason for the action we have just taken or will take. Almost everyone we know has or does utilize this self-defense mechanism (except me). For example:
          A new movie release coincides with a big exam so the student rationalizes that he needs to relax before the big exam rather than study so he goes to the movie.
       The officer finding visitation out of his comfort zone will visit the critically ill person in the hospital if he gets his stats done.
       If there were fewer Lotus Notes I would be a better preacher.
         If the worship leader was more sensitive I could worship better.
         If I won the lottery I would tithe.
        If my family of origin had not been so dysfunctional I would be a better parent.
         If I had not been abused I would be more intimate with my spouse.
         If my cousin had not introduced me to pornography I wouldn’t have this problem.
         I think I am a boring person so to keep you from getting close to me I seem angry, preoccupied or hurt.
The Holy Spirit will help us 1) by helping us seek for truth in our connections with others 2) help us be more honest with ourselves and 3) help us apply the fruit of the Spirit to this area of our lives.
1)      Why am I not more honest and open with my connections with others? Why am I not more reasonable, logical and realistic?  What causes my ego to look for responses to my situations that keeps me from guilt?

Isn’t it because I want to look good to those around me? Isn't it because I want to present myself in a favorable light to myself?  Is it because I don’t want to be uncomfortable? Is it because I like to think I am superior or better or at least OK so my mind presents a positive image to others and also to myself. Sometimes I do things I wish I had not done – sometimes it is sin and sometimes it is human error, or poor judgment or need to grow in an area of my life. But my mind wants to prove I am the best, not so bad or at least OK.

The Holy Spirit helps me look at those deeper motivations when I encounter the experiences of life. He helps me uncover and deal with those motivations. The process of holiness is for the Spirit not only to cleanse me from the sin nature but over time deal with these motivations to free, correct or redirect them. Many of these motivations are sub-conscious. We may have learned them before we were a Christian so we have to submit them to the Spirit for His re-education, His redirection, His discipline. We don’t see the motivation we only see the results of our self-defense mechanism. These we submit to the Spirit for His transformation.

A personal example: Last Saturday at Men’s Fellowship S/M Paul continued his series about holiness for ordinary people. We talked about where our corps came from and where we are heading. In jest I said something about Lt. Craig’s sermons thinking that I was raising thought among the men present about the good quality of his sermons but the jest had a negative twist. I did go on to tell how much I enjoy his sermons and gave concrete examples of why they are so good. (Note my rationalization.)  Then on Wednesday night at Bible study Lt. Anney was leading the study of James, she began with “Last week we solved the problem of the tongue.” I tapped my friend, Earl, next to me and said, “Sure glad you were here for that.” Everyone who knows Earl knows that he does not have a problem with his tongue (my point exactly).  Earl’s words are only encouraging. However, my words of jest may have questioned that in the minds of others there.
In both instances my jest may have been jabs.

 What were my intentions – consciously they were jests but was there an underlying issue that the Spirit wants me to deal with? Am I angry with Lt.? Am I upset over something he has done or not done? Am I jealous because he gets to preach and I don’t? Did I wish Earl’s reputation was mine? Did I need others to question him so I would look better? I don’t see the motivation but I see the results.

2)      The Holy Spirit will help me to be more honest with myself by educating my mind (ego) to truth, justice and righteousness. The Spirit will bring to my will (superego) the various options available to me. He will help me be more sensitive to accept the right decision. The Spirit will help me see the situation the way the Spirit sees it. The Spirit will also provide the energy to function the way the Spirit wants me to. I am not on my own in this. I have the Spirit of truth to help me get at the real truth of my life. This can be painful until I get used to His help then when I see the results of His work in my life I embrace and even seek His work to free me and make me whole

The Spirit works to eliminate the underlying issues that may have caused me to jest with a negative twist and to be more honest upfront rather than after the fact, the Spirit will help me be more realistic in speech and if necessary conquer a habit of jesting at the expense of others.

3.  The fruit of the Spirit that will help with  my rationalization is goodness. The Spirit wants to permeate my personality with goodness.

Goodness is:

·         Plenteous in mercy,

·         Abundant in loving kindness,

·         Usefulness,

·         Shrewd kindness,

·         In the best interest of,

·         The mark of transparency and simplicity of the soul.

 Goodness is a fruit of the Spirit for those who want to live in harmony with those who are going to live in the Kingdom.

God desires goodness, not a request for forgiveness but a need not to have to be forgiven.

The Biblical people we think of when we think of rationalization would include

                Eve conversing with Satan

                Adam hiding behind a fig leaf

                Cain asking, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

                Moses impulsively striking the rock      

    King Saul before the witch of Endor

                Peter responding to the maiden

                Paul holding the wraps before Stephan

                7 churches in Revelation

                You

    (but not me)

Happy Lent,
Harry

From the General

Sharing the Vision

The General´s writes in TSA International Website - "The other evening I watched a short DVD about the song-writer Fanny Crosby. The narration was interspersed with the singing of some of her songs. As a very young child, she lost her sight because of the incompetence of one posing as a doctor. Though she never regained her physical sight, the Lord opened her spiritual eyes to see life from his perspective. Songs like 'Blessed Assurance', 'To God be the Glory', 'He Hideth my Soul' and 'All the Way my Saviour Leads Me', express this deep faith, resilience and incomparable hope. She has opened our eyes to see the richness of his grace."

Early Sunday morning March 25

Normally I do not tend to be private on "Early Sunday Morning", but today I will make an exception. The reason is that we had a wedding yesterday. Our son Daniel married his Jessica in Borås, in southern Sweden. And our family was together again for one day. Last time it happened was one day last summer.

Normally it is a bit risky to have an outdoor wedding in Sweden in the middle of the summer. But now it happened in March!!! That is close to impossible. But everything was perfect. Not a cloud. No wind. Perfect temperature.

I was doing the wedding, Ruth played the piano. Mikael played the trumpet and Johanna sang a solo. Stefan and Karin read from the Bible.

Now all of our sons are married and we have another "Mrs. Baronowsky".

Tonight we are heading back to our home in Riga and a new week. Next week will start with a couple of days in Daugavpils in the southeastern corner of Lativa.

I wish you a blessed week.
Peter Baronowsky

Reflections from an old codger

Harry Brocksieck continues to write his "Reflections From an Old Codger"
We are looking at how holiness affects our self-defense mechanisms.

Fortunately one of the defense mechanisms that I rarely use is regression. (cough)

Regression is when we abandon a stage of adjustment which we have achieved and return to an earlier and more infantile stage. Children might return to a stage that is easier or more comfortable or where they get more 'benefits' from the parent(s). For instance, when a new child enters the family the new baby gets a lot of attention that at one time went to the older sibling so by returning to a stage of growth they had previously left the older child gets the attention they lost. They may talk like a baby or wet the bed or act out in ways previously resolved. Another reason a child regresses is when an over indulgent parent will make a stage of growth more enjoyable than the stage a child is being pushed to by peers, like at school, therefore, the child will revert to that easier stage in the presence of the parent(s) thus receiving the 'benefits' of that stage while functioning at a higher stage at school. Another reason for regression is just the opposite occurs when a child had to move too quickly through a stage of development and the needs of that stage did not get met. It is easy to see this when a teenage girl develops physically more quickly than her peers and attracts older boys to her. She may like the attention but has not developed healthy 'girl' relationships so may have to return to this phase of development in order to be healthy. Another example is when a couple gets married before they have decided who they are going to be in life. They may want to return to the 'no responsibility' phase of life before moving on to being responsible individuals. I remember a female officer who upon reaching the age of 50, her 5 children now on their own, began wearing min-skirts, shortening her uniform skirt and wearing extra make-up. She was trying to relive the years she was a mom instead of a teenager. Or the man who buys a muscle car in his 'mature' years or tries to prove he is still as good as ever on the basketball court. Or when we return to the skills we used in our previous appointment or job because it is easier than facing the challenges of the present appointment or job. We regress when 1) our sense of security is threatened, 2) life becomes difficult where we are or 3) when we missed something we needed for our growth.



Holiness is not just the 'spiritual' aspects of our personality. Holiness is wholeness. Holiness is important in the total personality. When dealing with our regression self-defense mechanism the Spirit helps us in at least 3 ways:

     1) the Spirit helps us grow to richness in the various stages of our personality development;

     2) the Spirit helps us move into new stages as we are ready;

     3) the Spirit helps us by giving us the fruit of the Spirit needed for our growth and development into the people God wants us to be or the best person we can possibly be or the most complete person we can be (these are all the same idea).

1) The Spirit helps us grow in each phase of our lives. The Spirit pays attention to each phase of our development helping us find the richness and joy in each stage of our development.  By making Christ the center of our lives the other pressures in our lives are not so dominant. We are not forced to be what we ought not to be. We don't put girls (or boys) at the center - that keeps the right perspective. We don't put our emotions at the center so we can have emotions but they don't control us. We don't put our job at the center, etc. These are all unhealthy centers but with Christ at the center the rest is more balanced. With Christ at the center this helps us garner from each stage of life the richness needed to be ready to go on to the next stage fully ready to move at the right time because Christ is our center.

2) Moving into the next stage of our lives is usually caused by some unhappiness in the old stage. James Fowler in his “Stages of Faith” notes that when we are new Christians our faith looks very much like the person who led us to the Lord - we are new at this so we want to do it correctly and who is more correct than the person who led us into this experience. However, we will eventually see the weaknesses of our fellow human and feel that we need to model our lives on other examples.  The next stage of our spiritual development is to identify with a group of believers.  For example, it is a delight when some women officers have a following of young women who look just like them in clothing, hair style, etc. As these young women grow they will abandon some of these ‘look a likes’ sometimes to the consternation of the woman officer. Ultimately we will, hopefully, grow out of being like others to being like Christ. There is an interesting phenomenon that the more like Christ I become the more like the person God is developing me to uniquely be comes about. ‘Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Me,’ etc. leads me to becoming like Christ, which when the fully developed Christlikeness occurs I become the fully developed me - unique and rare, fully Christ's and fully myself and fully useful in the Kingdom.

3. In dealing with the self-defense mechanism of regression, the fruit of the Spirit God wants us to develop is faithfulness. Keeping Him at the center, keeping focused on Him rather than the forces around or within us, keeping up with His will for our lives, keeping up with the new demands life gives us needs faithfulness. Regression returns us to former, more infantile stages of development. Christ wants us to keep moving forward. Normal growth causes stress, distress and discomfort at times as we move into new areas to conquer. Usually our growth depends on our getting out of our comfort zone.



A personal example:  I am an introvert so I like focusing on my inner processes. Opening myself to friends and letting me be more me can be uncomfortable and sometimes painful. I have heard a thousand times, “No one knows you are a fool until you open your mouth and prove it” so my tendency is to want to protect myself. While working on my degree the professor said to me, “Harry you are a good listener but no one knows you. Open up and tell them about yourself.” I wanted them to think highly of me because I was a good listener rather than the stupid things I sometimes say. So the Spirit moves me to be faithful, get out of my comfort zone, open up and be more vulnerable and real.

As the Spirit speaks to us, leads us, moves us toward more wholeness:

·         The extrovert needs to learn to listen to others and not so much have a need to talk,

·         The officer facing a new appointment needs to step up to the challenge of the new place rather than repeat past experiences,

·         The spouse who is afraid of intimacy needs to open to the fullness of love,

·         The good pastor needs to learn to be successful at administrative work,

·         The ‘I hate to visit’ officer becomes an ‘I will and will learn to like it’ officer.

·         The ‘I don’t like public relations’ officer becomes an ‘I will be good at it even if I don’t like it’ officer.

·         The ‘I hate diets but I need to do it’ will get on with it,

·         The ‘I hate exercise person,’ will make it happen,

·         The ‘I haven’t given anything up for Lent’ will start now.

The Spirit makes us work through these things until we are free to be our true selves - we develop the fruit of the Spirit, faithfulness.

The Biblical example is the Children of Israel as they faced new challenges in the wilderness - they had hated Egypt, hated being slaves, hated working for the Egyptian masters. They had no future and the goals belonged to someone else but while on their journey to the Promised Land when difficulties arose they wanted to go back to Egypt, they wanted the 'comforts' of Egypt rather than having to go through the hard work of nation building, learning to trust new leaders, learning to accept the responsibility that comes with freedom, learning to step up to serve God who had higher moral standards and higher goals for them.

We could also think of Peter and the disciples returning to fishing after the crucifixion of Christ but when the Holy Spirit came upon them they no longer looked back but were faithful in moving forward.

Happy Lent
Harry

Resource: Introduction to Psychiatry, O. Spurgeon English, M.D. and Stuart M. Finch, M.D., Stages of Faith, James Fowler

CBN News - Home-Schooling

Swedish Home-School Family ‘Broken to Pieces’
CBN. com - It's been called one of the worst cases of government abuse ever committed against a home schooling family: the abduction by Swedish authorities of Domenic Johansson,  a happy, healthy, 7-year-old boy taken from his parents Christer and Annie Johansson in 2009 as they waited to leave Sweden on a flight to India.
After the abduction, the Johanssons' story spread quickly on the Internet.
But three years later, Domenic is still being kept from his parents, and Swedish authorities keep finding new reasons for why the child can't go home. 

Another new corps in Latvia

Last Sunday we opened another new corps in Latvia. That was corps number 9 in Latvia and the new corps is situated in the village of Seda. At the same time it was time for a new soldiers enrolment in Seda. Here are pictures from the great event in Seda:

Seda: Corps number nine in Latvia

People came early to the meeting and the children started by playing games

The corps building in Seda

The corps leaders received a diploma of recognition from the local authorities for their work in Seda

The corps leader Sergejs reading from the Bible

The children presented singing

The new corps flag was presented to the congregation

A new soldiers register book was handed over to Aizan...

...and the flag to Sergejs

The new soldiers reading the soldiers covenant

Signing the articles of war

After the enrolment: flowers!

The "oldest" soldier in the corps (since 2009) greeted the newest soldiers

Song by Peter and Ruth

Leaving Seda after the meeting. The new corps has by now ten soldiers

If you want to know more about the village of Seda you can watch this YouTube clip:
Seda. People of the Marsh. from ELM MEDIA on Vimeo.

Early Sunday morning in Riga

Another Sunday morning after an interesting and busy week.

The week started with meetings in Stockholm with the board for the Baltic Children Foundation and with the Latvian Council. The trip to Stockholm also gave us opportunity to meet one of our grandchildren and her parents, Here she is joking with us testing her father´s glasses.

After coming home to Riga we have also had a meeting with the Salvation Army Advisory Board in Latvia. The board members are prominent persons from different areas of the Latvian society, giving their time and expertise to promote the work of the Salvation Army in Latvia. Is is really an exciting and inspiring group of people.

Yesterday, Saturday, we had a worship service at Riga second corps. During the first half year we are visiting all corps in Latvia for three different gatherings: a meeting, an open information gathering about the Salvation Army worldwide and in Latvia, and a corps review with the leadership of the corps. Here is a short clip from the meeting at Riga 2:

Today, Sunday, we will go to Seda, two hours drive northeast of Riga. The outpost in Seda will today be upgraded to a Salvation Army Corps. At the same time there will be another soldiers enrolment in the new corps. We look forward to that visit.

Tomorrow, Monday, it will be a very early start with a flight to Stockholm for meetings with the Clapham Institute.

Have a blessed new week
Peter Baronowsky